Viking Diaries

Viking Diaries is the sensitive journey of Leaf, a young Viking seeking to understand himself through pillage and rough trade. This epic tale of life among strong, unwashed men traveling the seas is sure to be a best seller. Leaf is shy as he witnesses his first "blood eagle" but soon is begging to be allowed to perform it for the most minor of infractions. Eventually he devolops a strong, mature love bond with a sheep on the moors of Scotland. When Rosebud, the sheep, falls ill, Leaf goes on a rampage through the local village seeking medicine for her. His grief at her death is overwhelming, changing him from a young man to a young man who has lain with an ungulate. He swears over the mutton to avenge her death by inflicting a lot of pain and suffering on the world. This takes up the remaining 600 pages of this jolly historical romp. Illustrated edition available except where banned by law.

Triumph of the Stupid

Triumph of the Stupid: The Ascendancy of Dumb People in Society. In a society that calls for intelligent consideration of complex problems, we feel stupid. This book is primarily concerned with a re-evaluation of the "Peter Principle" which states that in corporations, people rise to their level of incompetence. Data suggests that Dr. Peter was far too conservative; people often rise well above their level of incompetence, particularly in government. In a culture which values "beautiful" shallow people and mocks intelligent consideration of problems, we elevate the folksy idiots to key positions of power. We allow the tantrums of petulant child-men and gruff bullies to dominate public discourse and still manage to wonder why dumb solutions keep being applied to problems. The final chapter proposes that smart people be brought down to average intelligence. Or shot. Something to keep them from being smart. I can't be smart, why should they be allowed to be smart? They just think too hard. Thinking hard should make their heads hurt like my head when I think hard. In the country of the moron, the merely stupid could be president. Like me. Or Bush.

Prison Colony

A chronicle of the modern US prison system. Life in and out of prison and the growing overlap between the two. Milestones in prison history include when the prison population became larger than the largest city in the United States. Chapters include: The Business of Incarceration; The Return of Flogging, Branding and Clipping Fingers; The Pros and Cons of Driving Prisoners Insane.

The Redemption of Lou Reed

A novel of deep psychosis, rummaging through the detritus of Lou Reed's unconscious. Like the film Being John Malkovich, we are invited to experience life through the eyes and mind of Lou Reed circa 1974. This dark parable is written in a style designed create a discontinuity of the senses. Most people begin to develop facial tics and twitches by the end of the second chapter. Sensitive people should seek the advice of their physician before reading this book. Note: The Publisher is not responsible for any subsequent heart palpatations or seizures. Drug abuse not optional.

In My Mind

Sometimes I think of books I would like to write. Sometimes I think of books I would like to read. Sometimes I think of books I wish had already been written by someone else. Sometimes I dream of books that will never be written, not in this world. Sometimes I re-imagine real books, shaping them into a slightly different form.

The blog name is a nod to Italo Calvino's "Invisible Cities".